Your Aging Well Advisors wants to change the Face of Aging and celebrate! Our goal is to inspire and inform our readers in the journey. Join with us as we celebrate Aging Well!
"Do not regret aging. It is a privilege denied to many."
-Edith Wharton
Today many of us have had the privilege to live many years beyond our ancestors. We are able to travel to faraway places, see our grandchildren graduate from college, marry and have a family. Sometimes we get to witness the birth and formative years of a great grandchild. Others have started a business they had dreamed of or learned to play the piano. These are all blessings beyond the reach of others. There is much to celebrate about Aging! Yet, many people fear aging and try to deny it or defy it. Hence, the number of commercials for plastic surgery, botox and the latest "miracle cream". Now we think it's great to want to look your best. However, when one becomes obsessed with staying young forever, that becomes a problem. Even Ponce de Leon never found his fountain of youth. So to deny aging is not very effective. Think about it: Throughout our lives, if we have ever tried to deny a part of ourselves it has never worked. And the same is true of aging.
Read more ...
Meet our first Aging Well Attitude Profile in the person of Jim Gompers. He has traveled the world, built a business and enjoyed being a boat captain and a pilot. In addition to being an adventurer, Jim has been a dedicated community leader. As Chair of the Presbyterian Villages of Michigan Foundation and a former board member for Presbyterian Villages of Michigan (parent organization of Your Aging Well Advisors, Jim’s talents are well known to us. We think he is a perfect choice as our inaugural profile and want to share why he is a great role model for Aging Well Attitude!
Make sure to avoid developing a symbiotic relationship. In a symbiotic relationship it is as if the caregiver and caregivee become so entangled that the caregiver has no life beyond their caregiving duties; and their loved one feels so dependent upon them that they will not accept help from anyone else. The caregiver plays the game of "Nobody else can care for them like I can." And the person receiving the care plays the game, "Only You". (Only you know how to fix my dinner. Only you know how to give me bath.) Over the long run this can cause resentment from the caregiver or isolation from friends and family. They invest their entire life in the process and burn out. There is documented evidence that caregivers often end up sick or die before the one who is receiving the care. If you will recall the instructions we receive while flying, it is important to put on your own oxygen mask before trying to help others with theirs. If you urn out you will be of no help to them or to yourself. And believe it or not, your loved one needs the stimulation of others. No one is interesting enough to be the sole inspiration for others. Both of you will receive a much needed boost if you get some respite while others care for your loved one. We have heard from many caregivers that just going to lunch with a friend, attending religious services or going to the movies helps to recharge their batteries and maintain quality of life for themselves.
You can even use resources such as adult daycare or a week long respite care setting so you can take a vacation. Remember, as a caregiver you are entitled to have a life!
